Tony (teppouo) wrote in i_hate_kattun,
Tony
teppouo
i_hate_kattun

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KAT-TUN ruined my life.

It was a cold morning in Shibuya when I entered an HMV to browse through some CDs. The year was 2006, and I was on vacation and hoping to see what my journeys would bring me.

What I didn't know was that from that moment on, my life would be forever changed. "Best of KAT-TUN" stared at me from amongst the new releases. Their faces staring at me from the cover, ever so smugly--almost as if they knew the irony reeking from the title, as though they already knew their music would only go down hill from there, as though they knew in good conscience you'd still buy whatever they put out anyway.

I looked at the CD. I considered the implications of divulging in another Johnny's singing sensation, so soon after the "incident" had blown over (Japanese government apparently didn't appreciate me trying to send Yamapi in to orbit, whatever, I don't wanna talk about it) I had also finally recovered from months of having Nagano Hiroshi-related hallucinations and wasn't sure I was ready for another musical commitment so soon. Noticing the 32 dollar price tag, I decided it would be safer to download this curious album. Was I ever wrong.

The album remained on my hard drive for some time. A few days before returning home, I loaded up the album in to my iPod. I did enjoy a number songs, though grew tired of others fast and decided to go to bed. Little did I know that my life would never be the same from that moment on.

I woke up the next morning to find myself in a totally different and unfamiliar place. Yep, somehow I was knocked unconscious and placed in the low of the jungle. When I finally came to, a man was in my face spouting gibberish...it sounded like a combination of English, Japanese, and chat-speak. Upon seeing his face, I couldn't help but notice how goofy he appeared. As though he was some sort of...joker. I soon learned this man was not joking around. He was accompanied by what was clearly his boyfriend, a man referred to simply as Nakamaru. He didn't speak, but rather communicated through a series of sound effects. When they weren't looking, I made my escape. I ran until I reached the airport, never looking back, whatever I faced. For the next 14 hours, I would be safe. Or so I thought.

Upon returning home I found my house had been burned down. My neighborhood had been completely pillaged in my absence. Sifting through the rubble, I found a note. "We are the K-A-T-T-U-N. You downloaded our album, now it's showtime." The whole thing was an incredibly traumatic experience for me. I would have nightmares where I would just hear a voice say "it's just sono mama de". I absolutely dreaded the day I'd see it when they made it world wide.

That was it...It was all or nothing...now or never. The dice had been cast. I knew I had to go. I would not...no, COULD not let them win. I come to you all hoping to raise awareness so that this day never comes, and so that we can put an end to this reign of terror once and for all.
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